post 9!

 

me: diktor..
ildiktor: mafeeni shayy 3adii shay ba9ee6.
me: il7mdilillah *i hesitated* inzain wain bewadoona?
ildiktor: electric chair room
....

3li’s side:

I opened my eyes and my vision was a blur. The world was spinning. I blinked a few times for my vision to settle. I felt as if I have run around the world non-stop, pain taking over my body. I felt paralyzed. What happened? The room I was in was so white that it hurt my eyes. I was wearing a hospital gown. I suddenly felt that my life has passed right in front of my eyes without me knowing. The room was simple; bed, dresser, window and a TV. Waini? Sh9aayir? I ran to the door and started hitting the door with my palms

And screamed: HAAAAYYY! 6AL3OONI MIN IHNII! ‘3AL6ANEEN MUKANI MU IHNIII!

I peaked through the little window on the door w shift wa7da mit7ajba; she looked like a nurse. I hit the door once more and got her attention. She turned to and looked right into my eyes. Her eyes widened and she started screaming out words I couldn’t quite hear as she ran.

Mariam’s side:

Finally I’m fully recovered from the accident and back at home safe and sound. But the thought fills me with guilt. I’m back home safe but Sara and Ali are still deeply affected by the accident, Ali in much more ways. But, I can’t reverse fate, I can do something to help create a better future. I’m at a point where I’m hanging off a wall, if I let go I fall and plummet to the ground. If I put all my strength to push myself up to see the other side, the side that I still have no clue about it’s when I will achieve.

A call interrupted by train of thoughts. It was the house phone.

: Alooo?

I said while balancing the phone between my shoulder and check to tie my brown, curly hair into a messy bun.

: Maryoom, ana 7anan. Lazem inru7 3ind 3li il7een il7een, ildiktor daaag 3alaai yabeena inkun mawjodeen ihnaak asraa3 ma yumkin.

(7nan was one of the passengers with us in the accident; she luckily had her seat belt on so no major injuries happened to her il7mdilillah. She’s also 3li’s older sister. Has his light brown eyes, 7n6awiya nafs 3li, and both have black hair. But, she’s short for a 26 year old, which makes her adorable. He, on the other hand, is tall 6ali3 3ala uboo.)

: okay ashufich ihnaak 3ayaal.

7nan: okay bye 7abeebti deeray balich bil 6reej.

: inshallah lat7ateen ya bint il5ala.

I closed the phone and ran up to my room. Snatched any comfortable sweats that were in my sight and a long sleeved (its fall and the cold is starting to settle in Kuwait) purple shirt that says “Don’t worry” written in an Aztec pattern. The irony I see in this shirt since the color that represents worry for me is purple. Anyway, I put them on quickly and closed my room’s door behind me hearing the dream catcher chimes work their sound. As I sprinted down the stairs I called out one of the worker’s names: Arsal!

Arsal: Yes Maryam!

: can you please tell the driver to get ready? Thankyou!

She saw the worry in my eyes so she ran outside to the driver. I walked past the kitchen to see my dad having his afternoon fruits. I ran to him kissed his head goodbye.

: yuba, baru7 mukaan wiya 7anoon w arid love you.

Ubooy: wain ray7a? *with that smile he always wears around <3

: I’ll explain later cuz im in a hurry its urgent.

He looked at me and I knew from the way he looked at me that he trusted me and believed my words.

Ubooy: deeray balich 3ala nafsich w allah w mu7ammad wiyaach. Don’t forget your seatbelt.

-à I entered the hospital and knew by instinct inni aru7 ‘3urfat diktor 3li. I knocked on the door and heard a: come in.

I opened the door to see 7nan and the doctor in a deep serious discussion.

Diktor: oh Maryam! 7ayach tifa’6ilay

He looked like he was in a good mood.

I took a seat.

: bashir ya diktoor inshallah good news?

I felt that it was from the vibe in the room

Diktor: il7mdilillah ya Marya-

Athaan il ma’3rib and I heard the beautiful words of the athaan from the masyad near the hospital.

Diktor: waagt munasib 7ag ilathaan li2ana ma3a hal athaan iljameel bshaara 7ilwa.

post 8

A7mad's side (since 3li mu 7aas ille gaam yi9eer fi at the moment)

misakt 3li lamman wi9alna 3ind ildiktor since his actions are unpredictable. I looked at him but all i can see are his blank eyes. I explained what's wrong with 3li to the doctor but while i was explaining
3li shouted out: chathaab hatha diktor lat9adga!!
ildiktor i7gira w he absorbed my words. shaal il telephone 3ala his desk and he dialed in a short number
ildiktor: nurse! come to my office.
A nurse came rushing in and said: yes do8tor.
ildiktor kitablha a note im guessing 3ashaan 3li ma yisma3a. she nodded her head.
nurse: come with me now.
She held 3li but he shoved her hand away.
3li: WAIN BITWADOONI?!
ildiktor looked calm and said: 3li lat9a3ib il umoor 3alaina a7na manabi illa 9i7tik.
3li: LAA2 INTAW TABOON TITHBI7OONI
suddenly everything went by so fast! 3li hijaam 3ala ildiktor chan yi9ika buks ib 5ashma and he was going in for another hit when several workers came in and held him.
3li: GILTLIK A7MAD BYA8TILOONI.
One of the nurses got out an injection and injected his arm.
3li: haaa shnu haa...
his eyes fluttered then shut and the only sound that came out of him is the sound of him breathing.
A tear slipped out of my eye. ma38oola hatha ille wi9alla 3laaw ille kaan rfeeji min 3umir. Allah yisa3da bass. I turned to the doctor to see that his nose was bleeding.
me: diktor..
ildiktor: mafeeni shayy 3adii shay ba9ee6.
me: il7mdilillah *i hesitated* inzain wain bewadoona?
ildiktor: electric chair room
....

post 7

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A7mad: dina sim3eeni, 3li mu ib mustashfa 3aadiya

Me: sh8azdik

A7mad: 8azdi inna…

 

A7mad: 8azdi inna uhoo ib major depression center

Me: …ya3ni shlon?

A7mad: ya3nii, madrii shlon agulich yaaha ib 6aree8a zaina bass…*saying it fastly to get it over with* he’s under captivity in the hospital because he can harm himself w ta7t il mura8iba 24/7 because he ran out on the street and a car was gonna hit him, 7mdilillah allah 7ifa’6a…Mariam lail7een ma3aay 3al 5aa6?

I didn’t know what to say he left me speechless. What am I supposed to say? How is he? I already no what the answer is? Allah yi9abir galb 5alti, 3asa ma tadri! I never expected this to happen to 3li, he was always so smiley mashallah 3alaii. Bass hatha shnu Allah and if Allah brought him to it hell bring him through it.

Me: shil ma6loob minni? Ay shay yi7taaja gulli

A7mad: awaal shay la titkallimain 3an hal maw’6oo3 7ag a7aad! Thaaniyan I need u to visit him everyday w yeebay 8uraan w ad3iya weyaach. Bass be sneaky la7aad yishufich tyeen. Ana il7een akallim sayig bayt 3laywi w awa9ee and he’ll be your ride.

Me: Inshallah…yalla ma3a ilsalama

I closed the phone erased the number from the call log and put it where I found it. When I turned around to go back to Dina’s side guess whom I saw behind me?

My mom. I could tell she heard the whole conversation about 3li in the hospital from her face expression! How did she sneak up on me like that?

Me: I can explain…

She was mesmerized and didn’t move a muscle. I rolled myself to her but before I could hug her she, she fainted.

Me: YUMMMAAAAA!!! *tears started pouring out*

I didn’t care if I got injured I dropped the crutches and a jolt of pain ran through me…

post 6

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A word hit my head I knew what was happening, I knew what I was going through I’ve heard of it. To know that I had this disorder was too much I fainted…

Mariam’s side

I was sitting by Sara’s side studying her heartbeats. Every time I saw her motionless I would panic but then I could see that she was breathing when her lungs expanded. Her face was so calm as if she was angel. Misakt eedha w bidait agra 3alaiha ayaat il kursee, il mu3awithaat w kil soora dashat ib bali I would read it out loud to her. I know she can hear me its been proven that people in commas do. 

 ma kaan fi a7aad mawjood bil ‘3urfa ‘3ayri ana w Sara. 5alti Amal went to run some errands since shes sleeping 3ind Sara she needs to get food and all the necessities. A phone rang and I was positive that it wasn’t my phone cuz I left it in my room and it wasn’t Sara’s cuz her ring tone ‘3aaiir. I went over to the source of the ring and found it on the couch. Kaan mobile 5alti amal akeed nisita! The name that flashed on the screen was “3laywi wildi” and I automatically answered.

Me: 3LIIIII!! LAISH CHTHE HADNA? A7NA AHALIK WE’D NEVER HATE U WHATS DONE IS DONE PLEASE COME BACK!

: Mariam…

From the second I heard the caller’s voice 3iraft inna ma kaan 3li!

Me: 3afwaan min ma3aay?

: ana a7mad bass hatha il7een mu muhim il muhim uhoo 3li! … 3li 7aysha 7alaat thinaa2 il 8u6ub.

Thinaa2 il 8u6ub? Suddenly it hit me. Thinaa2 il 8u6ub was a case of depression which the patient is literally bipolar and doesn’t know what they’re doing. They shift from phases of their normal lives and then when the bipolar part kicks in they actually black out and what they do isn’t from them and they won’t remember any of it. An example is inna 3adii 7adda dayin yikoon ba3dain faj2a yi9eer fasid w 7adda ‘3air 3aan his dayin side.

Me: w-w-w-aina il-il7een?

A7mad: latguleen 7ag 5alti amal! Fakkart feeha w gilt illi feeha kafeeha. Uhoo bil mustashfa.

Me: 9aa7 kalamik. Ay mustashfa? Il ameeri…*I gave him a list of hospitals in Kuwait that I know of*

A7mad: laa2 wla wa7ed feehum d-

Me: * I cut him off* haaw 3ayaal wain?

A7mad: sim3eeni, 3li mu ib mustashfa 3aadiya

Me: sh8azdik

A7mad: 8azdi inna…

Post 5

yimkin itha ligow 3li hatha il shay will be strong enough ib nisballiha ille yigowimha min hal comma
I hoped for the best...



3li:
I walked while eating a protein bar as a snack. Everytime a car passes by i panic and look the other side so if it was someone i knew they wouldnt recognize me lanna Messila is packed ma3a rab3i.
laffayt wayhi 3ashan i wanted to cross the road bass that was a big mistake. In that moment i knew luck wasnt my friend today. shift rifeeji a7mido ib his platinum colored audi.
a7mad: 3laaw hatha int?
3li: *i tried to look natural as if i was meant to be walking around* h-halla a7mido shlonik??
a7mad: il7mdilillah wint? 
3li: zain il 7mdilillah 
a7mad: inzain int shyaybik ihnii?
3li: la walla gaam atmasha. haa shlon 7ayatik ka shir6i?
a7mad: walla zaain ma5ith ijaza ana il7een. bass fe a5baar to9ali 3an ashyaa2 yideeda w 3ashan chithe bagoolik 3aib 3alaik! 3aib innik itchathib
3li: shgaam tgool?
a7mad 6ila3 barra il sayara chan ala7ith mashallah sh6oola. he came right infront of me w 7aa6 3aina ib 3aini
a7mad: shgaam agool? 3li ana gaam agool inna adrii feeek!! min7aash laish?! 6ala3t galb ummik w 5ara3t il 3ayla killaha w tis2alni shgam agool??!! 3li laish imsowi chithe int mu ille knt a3arfa rifeeji. laish min7aash?!
3li: a7mdo ma a3ti8id raa7 tabi t3arif laish. itha giltlik bitshufni ka wa7ed galba aswaad bass niyiti ma raa7 itkoon mithil ma tafkeerik bewadeek
a7mad: ana 9ayirli a3arfik 7aag sneen shlon a7kim 3alaik w agoolik 3annik wa7ed moo zain. law shnu itgulii bakoon ihnii mawjood lik
i told him the whole story w min da5il a7is sichacheen tid5aal ib ba6ni. the whole time he was silent and his stare is as if he can stare right into my soul
3li: w il7een i regret it bass madri itha ihee 7ayya ow mayta walla a7mido ifhamni w ifham laish sowait chithe. w ma aloomik law kirahtni
a7mad: ...i7mid rabbik bass w ista'3fir allah. sara 3aysha lail7een bass 3allaaw int shlon itfakir ib hal shay?
3li: ma abeeha it3eesh chithe...
a7mad: w ma fakart ib i7saab allah?
3li:...
a7mad: t3arifni i wont judge you bass lazim tit3alaam min hal shay. yalla ana il7een badig 3ala ummik arayi7 galbha w agulaha ligaytik
3li: la tikfa akeed i3rifow shnu sowait ma asta7mil inna ummi ma tkoon rathya 3alaii
a7mad: mahma kaan hathi ummik ihya awaal wa7da bitkun 3indik yammik bitsa3dik. bas 3li ma raa7 awadeek ihnaak. int ti7taaj il7een ra7a w itha shift sara bit7ushik ilynoon w yimkin 9ij ta5sir roo7ha.
he called ummi w kallamha. she wanted to see me so badly bass gaal inna im in a bad state now w min 9al7i inni artaa7 shway. a7mad 5atha wagt 3ashan yihadeeha chan she agrees with him inna a7taaj ra7a
a7mad: yalla irkib il sayara bitnaam ilyoom ib baytna...


in his house:
ga3adna we watched mission impossible III w a7maad 7asha il noma
a7mad: yalla asta2thin banaam 
3li: roo7 naam wayhik im3abir shaklik filim chinna a7ad 6aagi3 ib wayhik =))
i started laughing  ma3a
a7mad: agool wint moo mga9ir 3aad shda3wa malik iljamaal
3li: afa 3alaik bass;) 
a7mido raa7 naam w ana gi3adt ibroo7i ib 9alaat dara.
siraa7t w gaam afakir ib sara i5tii wla everything went blank...
7assait nafsi inna i cant take control of what im doing.
knt gaam arkith barra bayt a7mido ri7t rikatht lay il shari3 w t3archabt. a jolt of pain went through my body as my knee inshilaa5 bil gaar mal il shari3. i felt blood ooze down my knee but i kept going. i stood in the middle of the road. sayara kanaat yaya ittijaahi i wanted to move but i didnt know how to. its lights where blinding me.
il hirin went crazy chaan yi6ig brake w dash bil r9eef.
simaa3t i9raa5 wla ashoof a7madoo yrakith lii. 
kil hal loya rasii faar. shgaam yi9eer feeni??
a word hit my head i knew what was happening i knew what i was going through Ive heard of it
To know that i had this disorder was too much
i fainted...
 

post 4

Now back to Mariam
PS mishtahya a8ayir the color of the writing :D

Gimt min il noom w shift ummi nayma.
knt 3a6shana and i hoped to see a glass of water on the table next to me. laffayt wla ashoof 3li's note.
thinks to self: haaaw? ana ma ra7 akun 8abiya inna a7i6 the note chithe makshoof 7aag kilman chinna its screaming out loud READ ME! 7attan ma shilta min mukana kaan ib mu5ba...
istaw3abt inna ummi ille kanaat ma5tha ihdoomi .
akeed shafita 100%!! i started panicking moo 3arfa shasawii. the minute she gets up btis2alni w il7een sharagi3!!
but i knew that this was the last of my worries...
wain 3li haal walaad wain raa7 3asa ma 9aar fii shay?
_______________________________________________________________

3li

I stopped to rest. the past 24 hours I've been running to God knows where. I keep telling myself inna shnu sawait kaan a7saan 7aag sara bass my conscious kicks in w guilt floods in. 
my throat was dry w ba6ni gaam yi8ar8ir min il yoo3
la7atht inne mu makil wla sharib maay for a long time wla intibaht lay wain rayi7!
 wigaft to look at any signs around wla ashoof inni 3ind messila
mu wagta... akthaar rab3i 3aysheen ib messila inshallah ma7aad minhum yishufni beriduni 3ind sara and everyone ib 7alti chithe
killa gaam a3ari min reeli
oh well, i ran to the nearest Co-op and went in
Sharayt snacks and water bottles to go. 7mdilillah knt yayib il k-net mali 
i swiped, entered my password and continued 6ireeji laay... il9ara7a madri wain.
_________________________________________________________________
2 days later...Mariam's side


5alati la7i'6ow inna 3li is missing w ita9low bil shir6a w gaam yidowroon 3alay.
ummi ma tkalimat 7aag 5alati 3an the note but she did come and face me and this is how it went...
Ummi: yumma 7ayatii do you trust me?
Me: *this is going to be about the note* yes mama bass some things aren't about me so i just keep my mouth shut *na8za about the note*
Ummi: intay 9ajja ib hal shay bass ana ille knt 8al6ana mafrooth...
Me: adrii yumma shiftay the note
Ummi: shloon diraytay?!
Me: theekil marra lamman gmt min ilnoom shifta yammi w ana knt adrii inna ma knt 7a6ita yammi...
Ummi: inzain hatha 8ashmara? maryam goolay il 9ij
Me: *looked down* mama...
Ummi: ya3nii imbala
Me: imbala... bass mama la tit7achayn 3ind 5alati byogaf galbhum!
Ummi: *bites her lip* akeed 
After that conversation she just was silent and away from everyone always alone. it was killing me inside but it's life!
6ab3an 5alti amal, um 3li, is going crazy 3ala finding him. kafii inna sara is still in a comma w il7een wildha il wa7eed yithee3!
il police are trying to find recent actions of him, any one who has seen him.
aside from 3li i was thinking of something I've heard. 
sima3t somethings that are special to the person in a comma can sometimes wake them up. and i was wondering if that would work 3la sara...
lamman knt ib my mid thoughts 5alti amal dashat 3alaina. her face had relief but anxiety. 
5alti amal: ligow shay 3an 3li!
everyone's face lit up to this news.
ummi: w shnu ligow?!
5alti: 6ali3 3indihum inna mista3mil his k-net recently w hatha ya3nii lail7een 7aay w bil q8! il shir6a yayeen il7een w yaybeen il information 3an kil hatha. they're also coming to ask me questions.
my hand is much better and i can use crutches now.
so i took my crutches and went to sara's room.
obviously lail7een bil comma. it's been a daily thing for me to go and tell her everything that's happening. adrii inha tisma3ni i've seen it in true story movies. giltlaha inna ligow recent activity 3an 3li.
then, i felt a light bulb over my head
yimkin itha ligow 3li hatha il shay will be strong enough ib nisballiha ille yigowimha min hal comma
I hoped for the best...

Post 3

"DIKTOR!! 7ALA 6ARI2A! '3IRFAT 123"
my mom and I looked at each other and i knew we had the same thought in mind.
it was Sara's room...
Many thoughts started racing through my mind and i panicked ma knt adrii shasawii. i started wheeling myself out of control ba8ayt aksir kilshay in my path. wi9alt 3ind Sara's room
what i saw was something that never crossed my mind or my dreams. hal la7tha bass ashufa ib aflaam.
il dikatra yabow the electric shocker ille they do it on her heart.
Doctors: 1 2 3!
ZZZTTTT
gaam a6ali3 the radar maal her heart beats and the line was straight. there wasnt a sign that she's still alive
they did it again
ZZZTTTTT
.....Beeeep
i jumped from my wheelchair at the sound of chance coming towards up
Doctor: marra thanya
ZZTTTTTT
...beep beep beep
SHE MADE IT!!! il 7mdilillaaah!!! ummi w 5alati collapsed ya7midoon rabhum w yashkiroona 3ala this miracle. bass a thought crossed my mind
haww? laish faj2a galbha wigaf? i just left her for minutes and she was fine 7attan 3li ka-
i looked around and he was no where to be found
Me: Diktor mumkin su2aal?
Diktor: ee na3am *walking towards me*
Me: *in low voice* shsabab sara yi9eer feeha chithe?
Diktor: *he hesitated* lamman yayna shifna il kamam mashyool minha w maku oxygen wa9el ib gismiha
Me: bass ana knt ma3aha gabil shway wla a7aad kaan ihni 8ayr ana w 3li
then it hit me!
Me: 5alaa9 diktor fahaamt
i turned my head away.
could it be? 3li yisowi chithe ib i5ta? laiishh?? musta7eel ilmaynoon ma yfakir feeha.
then i noticed something on the table to sara's right. it was a note.
i wheeled myself to the table w si7abt il wrga secretively 3ashan ma7aad yi7is
Note:
ille 9aar w ille sowaita min 9ali7 sara. bass raa7 andim kil 7ayatii ib shnu sowaiit w adrii 3u8ubtii yaya min Allah bass mabii sara it3eesh chithe 6ool 7ayatha ib mi2saah. adrii 3ugub haal risala ib tsheeluni ib galbkum ib kirh w 7u8d w 3ashaan chithe ma raa7 itshufoon rag3at wayhi marra thanya 3ashan arayi7kum ib 7ayatkum. Bass niyiti 7aag i5tii 3ashaan tirtaa7.
-3li
i was staring at the note reading it over and over just to process what was happening. 7assait inna ay digeega bagoom w kil hatha kaan 7ilm. I knew this was an endless nightmare.
3li? law 5alati yadroon chan uhma ba3aad ib 8aybooba.
da5alt il note ib mu5batii 3ashaan ma7ad 8ayri yishoofa ihnii. i knew that the only people should know were 7noon, yasmeen w mona uhma kanow bil accident they should know this w yagdiroon yit7amiloon shnu 9ayer.
______Night time______
zain ilyom 5alla9 i though itll never end! ummi sa3idatni albis shay yirayi7 7aag il noom w 5athat ihdoomi.
ga6ayt nafsii 3al ifraash knowing that i need as much sleep as i can get 3ashaan yishfaa3 7aag ta3ab ilyoom.
Um maryams side:
il 7mdilillah 3al a8aal maryam namaat rayi7at galbi
mishayt a7i6 ihdoomha bil laundry basket wla shay yi6ee7 min il mu5ba
zain inna 6aa7 wla chaan thaa3 bain il laundry. 5athayta chaan agool 5an agra shnu fii law muhim chaan maryam ma 7a6ita ib mu5batha.
...ti7asaft inne girayta...
hatha 8ashmara min 3li w maryam im5a6i6eena 3alaina?
la la akeed 8ashmara 7asha! bass ishhaal 8ashmara il 5aysa hal mas2ala mu 8ashmara 3aad!
mu5i gaam yil3ab 3alayy fa a7sanli anaam il7een w arayi7 shway jisme tkasaar.
ri7t 7a6ayt il note yaam maryam w nimt 3al kirfaya
ma gidart anaam killa a6galaab w lamman nimt 7ilmii gawamni
Me: a3uthu billa min il shay6a il rajeem
mashayt rasii wila im3arga
kil ma a8amith 3ayni il 7ilm yirja3li
il 7ilm uhwa chinna ille kan bil note 9ij bass...
sara kanaat nayma 3ala sireer il mustashfa ib 7ilmii chaan itba6il 3aynha w itshuf 3li. 3li 7a6 3ayna ib 3aynha yallaha bass rasha chaan yisasirha; hatha min 9al7ich
chaan sara itsari5 bass in8imaat sar5atha lamman yaab il mua5adda w 8imatha.
w ib sihoola... mataat
allah la yigool
inshallah mafi shay illa il3afya shhaal 7ilm
bacher a6ali3 9ada8a 3ala hal 7ilm inshallah...